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https://babylonbee.com/news/u-haul-introduces-armored-war-rigs-for-californians-trying-to-flee-states-post-apocalyptic-wasteland/?utm_content=bufferb231b&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

U-Haul Introduces Armored War Rigs For Californians Trying To Flee State's Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland

 

 

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https://babylonbee.com/news/lego-introduces-new-sharper-bricks-that-instantly-kill-you-when-you-step-on-them

 

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BILLUND, DENMARK—LEGO has just introduced new and improved interlocking plastic bricks that will instantly kill you when you step on them, sources at the company’s headquarters confirmed Thursday.

The sharper edges in the new design will just immediately put you out of your misery, so you don’t have to roll around on the ground in excruciating pain for minutes on end. Utilizing advanced laser-driven techniques, LEGO factories can now hone the edges of the famously sharp and painful bricks to such a fine point that the human nervous system instantly shuts down upon coming into contact with them.

 

 

 

 

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On 9/10/2020 at 11:10 AM, Ivanhoe said:

Fits right in with Vigilante 8.

 

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https://babylonbee.com/news/blm-rioters-awarded-nobel-peace-prize


 

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OSLO—The Norwegian Nobel Committee has announced the recipients of this year's Nobel Peace Prize: Black Lives Matter peaceful protesters who burned down communities and violently beat all who stood in their way.

BLM protester and Antifa member Bryce Hapley accepted the award on behalf of all the incredibly peaceful protesters across the United States.

"Nobody has done more for peace than these brave peaceful protesters," a Nobel Committee spokesperson said while presenting the award to the young man, clad in all black and wielding a bike lock. "Every thrown brick, every bloodied citizen, and every burned-down low-income housing community represents another step toward world peace."

"This may be the most deserving recipient since Barack Obama."

 

 

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https://babylonbee.com/news/state-with-no-electricity-orders-everyone-to-drive-cars-that-run-on-electricity/

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SACRAMENTO, CA—Gavin Newsom, governor of the state with the highest people-to-electricity ratio in the nation, banned gasoline cars yesterday via executive order. The order takes effect in 2035, meaning by that time, everyone in the state with no electricity will only be able to plug in their cars to the power grid that does not work.

 

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