Shakespearean insults

[Angrybk]

Inspired by my 6th grader daughter, who last Friday was “ugh, dad, this it s terrible, I have to come up with a list of ten Shakespearean insults by Monday!” “Hey no problem my beloved daughter, I just called my friend who’s an English prof who mostly teaches Shakespeare, here’s a big list, they’re pretty good!” “Ugh dad, you don’t know what it’s like!!!”

[Angrybk]

A tun of man . . .  that
 trunk of humors, that bolting-hutch of beastliness,
 that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard
 of sack, that stuffed cloakbag of guts, that roasted
 Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly, that
470 reverend Vice, that gray iniquity, that father ruffian,
 that vanity in years

[Angrybk]

these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these
perdona-mi's, who stand so much on the new form,
that they cannot at ease on the old bench? O, their
bones, their bones!

[Angrybk]

this leathern-jerkin, crystal-button,
 not-pated, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter,
 smooth-tongue, Spanish-pouch

[Rick]

In the days of old, when people were bold,

and toilets were yet to be invented,

ye simply dropped thy load beside the road,

and walked away, contented. 

[Stuart Galbraith]

'Well a pish on you then!'

Which is in the Branagh production of Henry V, I dont think its in the text. Although its very like something he would have wrote.

 

There are quite some good ones in Henry IV as well.

These lies are like their father that begets
them, gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why,
thou claybrained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou
whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-catch—

 

[Wobbly Head]

 

 "Villain, what hast thou done?" Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo." Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother." Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

Shakespeare "Titus Andronicus" 4. act, scene 2

[Rick]

23 minutes ago, Wobbly Head said:

 

 "Villain, what hast thou done?" Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo." Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother." Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

Shakespeare "Titus Andronicus" 4. act, scene 2

Winner! If you can call it that :0

[Stargrunt6]

I really want to wish a pox on somebody.

[sunday]

34 minutes ago, Stargrunt6 said:

I really want to wish a pox on somebody.

Vax them.

[DB]

2 hours ago, Wobbly Head said:

 

 "Villain, what hast thou done?" Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo." Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother." Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

Shakespeare "Titus Andronicus" 4. act, scene 2

Who knew that "I've had yer mum" was Shakespearean?

He doesn't quite stretch to "Yo momma's so fat..." but there is this one:

"No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out countries in her. (The Comedy of Errors, Act 3, Scene 2)"

From here:

https://www.litcharts.com/blog/shakespeare/top-shakespeare-insults-of-all-time/

[Angrybk]

On 2/8/2023 at 5:30 AM, DB said:

Who knew that "I've had yer mum" was Shakespearean?

He doesn't quite stretch to "Yo momma's so fat..." but there is this one:

"No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe, I could find out countries in her. (The Comedy of Errors, Act 3, Scene 2)"

From here:

https://www.litcharts.com/blog/shakespeare/top-shakespeare-insults-of-all-time/

Ok that one wins