To All You Golfers Out There...

[Van Owen]

I feel like I've been a part of this forum, on and off, long enough to indulge in a question which is has long held a not inconsiderable bit of my natural curiosity. Namely, which golf club would you suggest for killing someone, and why? Wood, iron or wedge? Personally, I've always fancied the idea of using a wood, though I understand modern ones are made of something else, and probably lighter weight than really optimal for the task at hand, but I think you have to factor a certain style factor in, at the very least. Of course, the iron is probably the default answer for most of you, but which one in particular? Also, what about wedges? Seems they might be the middle ground, but not being a player myself, I haven't much practice in using them. I'm guessing that putters might well be the least useful of the lot, but I dunno something about the shape might come in to play somewhere? I'd imagine, ideally, you'd want to use one with a titanium handle (or the whole club, come to think of it) and a good pair of grips, because you don't want the thing to break doing something it strictly speaking, wasn't designed for, and injure yourself in the process. As I am given to understand, people have been killed by clubs breaking and the pieces becoming lodged in vital areas.

[wendist]

Golf clubs are a lot flimsier than you think, trying to beat someone to death might not work. Take a steel shafted club, any size, break off the head and stab the poor sod.

[DB]

A traditional flat bladed brass putter. Probably got the highest density. https://community.ebay.com/ebay01/attachments/ebay01/archiveoutdoorsports/14717/1/5200001044_brass%20putter1.jpg

 

Modern drivers have such a huge surface area, killing someone with one would involve some weird shockwave based interaction with the "sweet spot" on the club face.

[Van Owen]

"Well, Google "Beaten to death with a golf club" and you'll find it does periodically happen, but they never seem to explain which particular clubs are used. I'm mainly curious, given the sheer variety of them, and different swing characteristics, which is probably the best suited for the task. For example does a #2 Wood (seldom used these days, I hear) beat out a sand wedge?

 

I'm guessing, however, upon deeper contemplation of the matter, the part of the club you want to use on a person, might not be the same as you use for the ball. Still, let's keep this within the realm of blunt trauma, as opposed to stabbing or more exotic means. (Such as having the person carry the thing during a storm.)

Edited November 7, 2017 by Van Owen

[wendist]

In that case I would go for a wedge. Pretty big and heavy head, nice sharp edge and the short shaft might just hold up for a whack or two. Make sure to get the heaviest steel shaft you can find and erase your browser history or you will never be able to claim self-defence.

[Van Owen]

I gather you'd want steel or titanium vs one of those carbon fiber jobs, as the shaft is the most likely part to fail, and have bad consequences for you, vs the intended recipient. I'm guessing you should ahead and bring your bag, or at least extras, in case spares are required, however. Probably want to remove any head covers first as well, come to think of it... Make sure you don't leave any of them behind, though.

[Van Owen]

While I'd expect some experienced golfers to possibly just pretend the person's head is a giant golf ball, I would anticipate that most of us would default to using that back part of the club, near where the head joins the handle, so therefore the club with the head that weights the most? (Not sure what this is)