Disaster For Pukka Sahib!

[Sardaukar]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/10130525/Juniper-tree-disease-threatens-GandT.html

 

Phytophthora austrocedrae has been spotted on juniper bushes in the Lake District and Scotland.

The fungus could wipe out the delicate population of native juniper bushes in Britain.

The bluey green bushes used to be found around the country but are now confined to a few chalkland sites around the UK.

Many southern English counties have lost 60-70 per cent of their populations of juniper due to loss of habitat.

Now they are even more at risk if the disease spreads.

Some 45 per cent of Scottish trees are at risk of being wiped out by the fungus.

Stock is already suffering from old age, with many specimens more than 100 years old, and booming rabbit and vole populations.

Although juniper used in most commerical gins is largely from Eastern Europe nowadays, the British population is key to the survival of the whole species.

 

[RETAC21]

But whiskey is OK, innit?

[DougRichards]

Follower 1 Master! Your people have walked many miles to be with You! They are weary and have not eaten.
Brian It's not my fault they haven't eaten!
Follower 1 There is not food in this high mountain!
Brian Well, what about the juniper bushes over there?
Crowd A miracle! A miracle!
Follower 1 He has made the bush fruitful by His word!
Follower 3 They have brought forth juniper berries!
Brian Of course they've brought forth juniper berries! They're juniper bushes! What do you expect?!
Follower 2 Show us another miracle!
Follower 1 Do not tempt Him, shallow ones! Is not the miracle of the juniper bushes enough?
Hermit I say, those are my juniper bushes! Clear off!
Follower 4 Lord! I'm affected by a bold patch!
Follower 5 I'm healed! The master healed me! I was blind, and now I can see!
Crowd A miracle! He is the Messiah!
Brian I'm not the Messiah!
Follower 1 I say you are, Lord, and I should know, I followed a few! Hail Messiah!
Brian Listen, I am not the Messiah, do you understand? HONESTLY!
Follower 2 Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian Well what sort of choice does that leave me? Alright, I AM the Messiah!
Crowd He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian Now, fuck off!
[silence] Follower 1 How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?
Brian Oh, I don't know, just leave me alone.
Hermit You break my bloody foot, you break my vow of silence, and then you try to clean up my juniper bushes!
Follower 1 This is the Messiah, the Chosen One!
Hermit No, he's not!
Follower 1 An unbeliever! Persecute! Kill the heretic!