weird news

[Mike Steele]

What can I say?

 

Storm in a C-cup - 130,000 boobs lost at sea

 

More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

 

Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.

 

The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt.

 

A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week.

 

The magazine has put out an alert to shipping authorities to see if they have the container, but if they don't turn up in the next 48 hours it will be too late for the next issue, she said.

 

Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

 

``Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are,'' Pintado said.

 

``If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.''

[Unreal John]

There was something very sad about John Denver's death in a plane crash.

Barry Manilow wasn't flying with him at the time.

 

I will make you even sadder; the most profitable - for the composer/sometimes performer - song ever written was one of Barry's. It's the old McDonalds jingle, "You Deserve a Break Today".

[Gregory]

I mean it isn't as if the Salvo Officer is an female Episcoplian Bishop who wants to marry her female lover is it?

 

What's wrong with that?

[X-Files]

What's wrong with that?

 

 

Once again, for the reading comprehension impaired : The rules are the rules. You know them going in. If you don't want to play anymore then quit.

 

Meanwhile, back at the topic -

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10...-hears.html??23

 

A man died because he picked his nose so much he bled to death, an inquest heard.

Manchester coroner Nigel Meadows said about the death of 63-year-old Ian Bothwell: 'There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nose-bleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death.'

Edited December 6, 2008 by X-Files

[TSJ]

Coroner matches feet. Good job!

 

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/6151080.html

 

An investigator has matched a pair of dismembered female feet that mysteriously washed up on the shores of British Columbia, the coroner's service said Saturday.

 

The British Columbia coroner matched a female right foot discovered on Canada's West coast in November with a left foot discovered in May. Both were encased in New Balance running shoes.

 

They were among five feet that have mysteriously floated ashore along the Strait of Georgia between Vancouver Island and the British Columbia mainland since August 2007. A sixth foot was found on the shores of Washington State's Orcas Island in Puget Sound in August. All six were found in athletic shoes.

 

"In all cases, these remains appear to have naturally separated from the body," said the B.C. Coroners Service.

 

DNA testing linked one of the Canadian feet to a depressed man who disappeared in 2007. Investigators have also concluded that two of the five feet belonged to one man who has not yet been identified.

 

Experts say that when a human body is submerged in the ocean, the arms, legs, hands, feet and head usually come off the body. The Coroners Service said it is difficult to determine how long remains have been in the water.

 

The Coroners Service uses physical characteristics and DNA analysis of the feet to establish a profile. Those profiles are maintained in a provincial database for future comparisons.

 

Police have said they are reviewing almost 300 missing persons files to try to match up the feet.

Edited December 8, 2008 by TSJ

[Corinthian]

A man died because he picked his nose so much he bled to death, an inquest heard.

 

Thanks for the warning. I guess I got to stop.

[Gregory]

 

Once again, for the reading comprehension impaired : The rules are the rules. You know them going in. If you don't want to play anymore then quit.

 

Yeah, and Warren Jeff's rules were that he got to marry about 50 women. Still weird.

[DougRichards]

Cartoon porn kids are people, judge says in Simpsons porn case

 

AAP

December 08, 2008 12:15pm

 

Cartoon characters are people, a judge has ruled in an appeal by a man convicted of having porn based on the children from the popular Simpsons cartoon series.

 

Man appeals child porn convictions

"Simpsons children" shown having sex

Judge says cartoon characters are people

 

CARTOON characters are people too, a judge has ruled in the case of a man convicted over cartoons based on The Simpsons, in which children are shown having sex.

 

In the New South Wales Supreme Court today, Justice Michael Adams ruled that a fictional cartoon character was a "person" within the meaning of the relevant state and commonwealth laws.

 

Alan John McEwen was appealing his February conviction for possessing child pornography and using his computer to access child pornography.

 

"The alleged pornography comprised a series of cartoons depicting figures modelled on members of the television animated series The Simpsons," the judge said.

 

The cartoons showed characters such as Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson having sex.

 

McEwen was convicted and fined $3000 and placed on a good behaviour bond.

 

"In my view, the magistrate was correct in determining that, in respect of both the commonwealth and the NSW offences, the word 'person' included fictional or imaginary characters ...," the judge said.

 

 

In dismissing the appeal, the judge ordered each party to pay its own legal costs in the first case dealing with the "difficult" issue.

[X-Files]

Chantilly, Va. - U.S. Customs officials at Dulles International Airport (web|news) discovered the charred carcasses of three monkeys in the luggage of a traveler arriving from Central Africa.

http://www.news8.net/news/stories/1208/576243.html

[Michael Donnelly]

Seems to be a trend!

 

Woman, mom convicted of smuggling monkey into US

http://news.aol.com/weird-news/article/wom...y/271792?cid=46

[X-Files]

A US man accused of killing his girlfriend and cooking parts of her body earlier this year died on Sunday after being found unresponsive in his jail cell.

 

*

McCuin, 26, of Tyler, was charged with capital murder in January in the death of 21-year-old Jana Shearer, of Whitehouse. Police said they found an ear boiling in a pot on a stovetop at the crime scene, and a hunk of flesh on a plate and impaled on a fork at the kitchen table. Authorities say it was unclear whether McCuin consumed any part of the woman's body.

 

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/accused-c...8584774644.html

[ABNredleg]

Calling All Cars: Trouble at Chuck E. Cheese's, Again

Kid-Centric Pizza Parlors Become Stage for Adult Bad Behavior, as Mama-Bear Instincts Kick In and Fights Break Out

 

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122878081364889613.html

[Jeff]

Chantilly, Va. - U.S. Customs officials at Dulles International Airport (web|news) discovered the charred carcasses of three monkeys in the luggage of a traveler arriving from Central Africa.

http://www.news8.net/news/stories/1208/576243.html

Mmmmmmmmm, monkeys!

 

[BP]

Chantilly, Va. - U.S. Customs officials at Dulles International Airport (web|news) discovered the charred carcasses of three monkeys in the luggage of a traveler arriving from Central Africa.

http://www.news8.net/news/stories/1208/576243.html

 

Carrion carry on?

 

And I got the stink eye from my local TSA fortaking a sack of oranges. I'm surprised they didn't try and charge him an excess bag fee as well.

[Corinthian]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/138559/Vets-fi...er-cat-astrophe

 

Vets fix feline's face after 'cat'-astrophe

12/10/2008 | 11:36 AM

Email this | Email the Editor | Print | Digg this | Add to del.icio.us

BOSTON – Me-ouch! Veterinarians in Boston on Tuesday performed an unusual surgery to reattach the face of a cat they believe was injured by a car's fan belt, probably because she tried to stay warm under the hood.

 

Edgar, a 4-year-old long-haired feline, went missing from her home in Winthrop for three days last week. When she finally came home, her owner found her in her litter box — with part of her face dangling from her head.

 

I just had my lunch.... And I have a very vivid imagination. I think I'm gonna puke.

[Corinthian]

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/138414/Indian-...-a-mother-at-70

 

Indian woman says she's a mother at 70

12/09/2008 | 06:37 PM

Email this | Email the Editor | Print | Digg this | Add to del.icio.us

NEW DELHI — An Indian woman who claims to be about 70 years old has given birth to her first child, her doctor said Tuesday.

 

Well, that takes care of John then. Next possible news: Virgin gives birth to baby boy in a manger...?

[X-Files]

Virgin gives birth to baby boy in a manger...?

 

Sorry, that only happens once per planet.

[X-Files]

 

PICTURES of a python killing and eating a chicken in a Cairns yard have been submitted exclusively to cairns.com.au.

Cairns PR consultant Sarah Fraser said "never in her wildest dreams" did she expect to see pythons at her Brinsmead address.

http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2008/12/1...local-news.html

 

A swarm of stars orbiting a vast black hole at the center of the Milky Way has been mapped with remarkable precision, providing astronomers with their most detailed look yet at the heart of our galaxy.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,464728,00.html

[Mike Steele]

“She doesn’t need holidays, food or rest and she will work almost 24-hours a day. She is the perfect woman,” he said.

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2023392.ece

[KingSargent]

“She doesn’t need holidays, food or rest and she will work almost 24-hours a day. She is the perfect woman,” he said.

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2023392.ece

 

"Le said: “Women usually try to talk to her. But men always want to touch her, and if they do it the wrong way she slaps them.”

 

And WELL DONE!!! They Damn well deserve it, the perverts! I bet they peeked under the panties of their sisters' Barbie dolls too....

[DougRichards]

Carrion carry on?

To quote Hopkins (GMH not Harry or Anthony):

 

NOT, I’ll not, carrion comfort, Despair, not feast on thee;

Not untwist—slack they may be—these last strands of man

In me ór, most weary, cry I can no more. I can;

Can something, hope, wish day come, not choose not to be.

But ah, but O thou terrible, why wouldst thou rude on me

Thy wring-world right foot rock? lay a lionlimb against me? scan

With darksome devouring eyes my bruisèd bones? and fan,

O in turns of tempest, me heaped there; me frantic to avoid thee and flee?

 

Why? That my chaff might fly; my grain lie, sheer and clear.

Nay in all that toil, that coil, since (seems) I kissed the rod,

Hand rather, my heart lo! lapped strength, stole joy, would laugh, chéer.

Cheer whom though? the hero whose heaven-handling flung me, fóot tród

Me? or me that fought him? O which one? is it each one? That night, that year

Of now done darkness I wretch lay wrestling with (my God!) my God.

[X-Files]

MINNEAPOLIS -- It's hard as a rock, has a slight scent of spice and looks like Frankenstein, with knob-like mints protruding from its sides. But, hey, will any of us look any better than Pierre Girard's fruitcake when we're 97 years old?

*

The cake's history, aside from its being baked a few months before the Titanic sank, is shrouded in mystery. Two of Girard's friends, Audrey Staber and Dick Scheimo, found it on a St. Louis Park, Minn., closet shelf while doing an estate-sale assessment in 1992. The elderly resident had died with no heirs, and Girard never learned her name before Staber and Scheimo subsequently passed away.

 

But the cake came in a box with cryptic inscriptions: "Xmas cake Baked in dec. 1911" on top, "Xmas Cake baked by my mother's brother Alex died Dec. 27. Was operated on Xmas day" on the bottom.

 

http://www.bnd.com/living/story/573375.html

 

 

 

OLYMPIA, Wash. - State officials, besieged by requests for more seasonal displays at the state Capitol, have approved several more - including a "Festivus" display honoring a faux holiday popularized by TV comedian Jerry Seinfeld.

 

The new display requests come on top of an anti-religion placard, a Christmas tree and a Christian nativity scene erected earlier this week and a pro-religion sign added Friday.

 

The state General Administration, which runs the state Capitol building, have OK'd four of the requests so far:

 

Yadda, yadda, yadda...

 

- On Wednesday, Dec 10: A Festivus display from a private citizen.

 

According to the online reference Wikipedia, Festivus is an annual holiday invented by writer Dan O'Keefe and introduced into popular culture by his son Daniel, a scriptwriter for the TV show Seinfeld.

 

Most people now celebrate the holiday on Dec. 23, as depicted on the December 18, 1997, Seinfeld episode "The Strike."

 

The holiday includes novel practices such as the "Airing of Grievances", in which each person tells everyone else all the ways they have disappointed him or her over the past year.

 

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/35616504.html

[FlyingCanOpener]

MINNEAPOLIS -- It's hard as a rock, has a slight scent of spice and looks like Frankenstein, with knob-like mints protruding from its sides. But, hey, will any of us look any better than Pierre Girard's fruitcake when we're 97 years old?

 

I bet it's just as fresh as the one I got yesterday!

 

The new display requests come on top of an anti-religion placard, a Christmas tree and a Christian nativity scene erected earlier this week and a pro-religion sign added Friday.

 

That's Inclusiveness I can believe in.

[Michael Donnelly]

Want to speak like a furriner? Get a brain injury!

 

Foreign Accent Syndrome for Beginners

How a brain injury in rare instances can impact pronunciation, intonation and inflection.

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/articl...0&gt1=31036

[DougRichards]

What can I say?

 

Storm in a C-cup - 130,000 boobs lost at sea

 

More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

 

Men's magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.

 

The cargo is worth about $200,000, which is another blow for publisher ACP's parent company PBL, which is already in $4.3 billion of debt.

 

A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week.

 

The magazine has put out an alert to shipping authorities to see if they have the container, but if they don't turn up in the next 48 hours it will be too late for the next issue, she said.

 

Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

 

``Unless Somali pirates have stolen them its difficult to explain where they are,'' Pintado said.

 

``If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.''

 

Been found........

 

--------

 

Missing inflatable breasts found

December 10, 2008

More than 100,000 pairs of missing inflatable breasts intended for an Australian men's magazine promotion have turned up in Melbourne.

 

The shipment of plastic boobs from China had been missing for more than a week after Chinese officials lost the paperwork and put them on the wrong boat, a Ralph magazine spokeswoman said.

 

They had been due to dock in Sydney last week, but have since turned up at a Melbourne dock, where they've been sitting for a week.

 

Workers are now frantically working to put them in bags to go out with the December 15 issue.

 

Ralph editor Santi Pintado said the incident had cost the magazine $30,000.

 

"If we'd found them a day later, it'd have been too late to get them on the next issue," Pintado said.

 

"You'd think the Chinese economy was in enough trouble without misplacing 130,000 pairs of boobs."

 

The magazine is expected to break the Guinness world record for the most boobs given away at one time.

 

AAP